The Pause Button

Every life should come with one. I think its time to press mine. Every now and again, I feel this onset of worry that time is slipping by. Currently, the culprit rushing my life is school registration for Max for the fall. I'm not ready for my baby- to not be a baby anymore. He'll begin school when he turns 3 in September, registration was yesterday. Its kind of like Christmas commercials in October and summer clothes out in stores in the winter. Everything feels rushed.

Max at his 1st birthday party

Every now and then, I hear the comment in the back of my head- the one people are constantly making when referring to life with kids . Enjoy it. It goes so fast. Thing is, I don't want it to go fast at all. I want to relish in every moment. I want to squeeze their little coolies and get wet kisses forever. As crazy as this moment in my life is with a 4 year old and 2 year old, I want it to last as long as possible. When I'm looking in my sons eyes and feel that mutual love without having to speak, and we are both smiling uncontrollably....pause. When hes giving me the tightest, realest hug I ever received in my life while kissing me on the cheek...pause. When I hear him say "I miss you, Mama" when I'm only in the shower and hes on the other side of the glass...pause. When I'm cuddled in bed in between both of them (my favorite thing ever)...pause. Little moments like these, I want to last forever.

Max & I at Max's 2nd birthday party

I complain about not having any time to myself- yet in the back of my mind, know I will miss these moments ...hopefully  that day doesn't come too soon. I know there will never be a pause button, but it would be nice for time to slow down a bit. I know one day, I'll be sitting in the bathroom- alone, and miss someone trying to wipe me! As for now, I will live in the moment the best I know how- capturing all of this precious time in my memory to last a lifetime.