Mind you, I was the only married woman at the table and the only mother!
One of the three girls is living with her boyfriend of four years.
The two others are single, sans children.
In the midst of my venting, Esther asks me- when is it good? I was taken aback by her question and felt awful for making it sound like it is all bad. I meant to articulate how difficult it is- not bad. My explanation to her was that I have everything I have ever wanted. Everything I could ask for. If I were in her shoes, what I have- is what I would be longing for...yet, at times- I cant help but envy her freedom. Her quiet time. Her ability to come and go as she chooses. That sounds glorious to me- yet, if I had it- I would want what I have now!!!
Life is crazy. Life isn't always easy. This I know well. But I love my life and I love my kids even when I feel the desire to put my head through the wall. Even when Chloe fights me to brush her teeth- every morning and every night. Even when she insists on wearing only pink- every day with a closet filled with everything but pink. Even when my son pees on the floor while staring at me in front of the potty seat. Misshapen chaos of well-seeming forms!
Our conversation was clearly confused and in the interim, bad and difficult was lost in translation.
From last nights conversation on, I will make a conscience effort to say what I mean and mean what I say- the best that I can.
Parenting accompanies the good, the bad and the ugly. In order to keep manhood alive, I will put my best efforts forward to include all three in future conversations!
Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering--and it's all over much too soon.Woody Allen
I totally hear you on this! It is so difficult how hard it all is but at the same time, I wouldn't give it up for the world. Something simliar happened to me and I didn't realize what a negative message I was sending. I've been making a conscious effort to focus on the little things and the positives - even when my son poops on the floor while telling me to "just a second Mommy," Yeah, still working on that potty training thing :-)
ReplyDeleteChristine- it's just one of those things people will never understand until their in it!
ReplyDeleteThey grow too quick, and I know from experience you will miss it when it's over and there's nothing you can do to get these times back. Embrace it!
ReplyDeleteI know Gi...I'll be reminded of this in September when we are both crying leaving the kids at their classroom door!
ReplyDeleteI won't give up my life for the world! It is challenging at times, but it is truly wonderful too.
ReplyDeletethere's no "Undo" button when it comes to being a mom, but i do believe you can have the best of both worlds by setting boundaries and making time for yourself. it's easy to get consumed with life - especially the bad & the ugly. this makes it all too important to make a date and pencil in the good.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your last 2 comments ladies- I too wouldnt give it up for anything.
ReplyDeleteI have been a lot happier that I have been allowing more me time. I went back to the gym and have been meeting friends for dinner...now if only the hubbie & I can get out together- ALONE!!! Thanks for visiting!
I LOVE "meeting" people who reflect and grow and change. I don't even know you but I am so proud of you for trying to lift up your marriage into a positive light...that said, marriage is hard. He never functions exactly like me. LOL. Probably a good thing. And your friend who asked the question, I love her honesty.
ReplyDeleteThis is so true!
ReplyDeleteOh, isn't this so true?! It reminds me of the saying "youth is wasted on the young". It's not that I would even want to give up my family; but I would definitely go back and tell my single self to appreciate the free time while it lasts!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good one. That's why it's so important to enjoy every minute of our life.
ReplyDeleteThank you ladies- I am making changes to my comment form that will allow me to directly respond to each comment...I appreciate and love all of your feedback! Keep em' coming!!!
ReplyDeleteI think we are more wired to hold on to the negative, than we are the positive. It takes conscious effort to hold a balanced view. I'm glad you're trying, I'm trying too!
ReplyDeleteI don't want to seem like a Debbie Downer!! I see myself as a positive person (for the most part!) and don't want to portray my married/mommy life in a negative light...it's not always fun though! That's the truth & all parents know it- I keep it real...maybe a little too much sometimes!
ReplyDeletePopped in from SITS! I always hear my mom friends complaining about their life, but they always seem happy!
ReplyDeleteI would say that I am mostly positive too but there are times when we just sound negative even when we don't intend to..
ReplyDeleteBtw, thanks for visiting!
I haven't had a chance to read this until now and let me just say thank you. This is the best representation of motherhood that I have read in a while. YES it is all so hard sometimes, I have the same problem with Dari not wanting to brush her teeth. I have showed her pics of kids with rotten teeth and bought 11 different types of toothpaste and I want to cry!! BUT like you said you could never trade it for the world. Children are the very best gifts with the hardest tests attached to them. Thank you for writing from the heart, other moms need to know it is okay to feel these feelings and they are not alone.
ReplyDeleteAwww- thank you my friend!
ReplyDeleteExactly what you wrote is what I want moms to get out of my writing- so THANK YOU!
The teeth brushing thing takes tons of patience...times two in my house! They both prefer the training toothpaste (my little pony or little bear one). If you havent done so already, try that one. I believe its Oral B.
Love ya- & thank you so much for your amazing comments...I truly appreciate them. xo